Self-Improvement

Ok, so appearantly I'm all about self-improvement. I guess that's fairly self-evident now that I think about it. What strikes me as odd is that the distinction that I _AM_ concerned with that would be indicative that most people are not.

That... is not good.

I don't really know why I want to improve myself. It seems self-evident, and yet unexplainable. I think a lot of people make improvements to themselves in specific ways so that they can trump others in the 0sum game of life (Go to the gym so that you're more attractive than the others in your circle, Study so you're getting better marks than others in your class, etc.).

And that's fine, Because that 0sum game is what drives most of humanity to improve themselves, and hopefully in the process develop something that improves the standard of living for the rest of us.

But I don't think that's why I do it. I think that's why I did it once, but i've never really done anything spectacular because I wanted to beat out other people, All the most significant things I've done, i've done for their own sake, to learn, or for my own amusement.

That said, I think i'm going to burn up the tracks in the marks department this summer, just to demonstrate to myself that I can. I've never really held marks as being something important, and I don't really do so now. In engineering especially, they try to make you competitive, show you your ranking in the class, stuff like that. Try to motivate you to work harder. Well fuck that. I don't need to be the best in the class by some little ranking. This isn't about being the best, or about impressing people. This is about being the best person I can be. So take that Earth.